Of late & my first time...

My first time yesterday using an ezlink card. Its been a long long time since i last took a bus. Since hubby had to use mine, for his is servicing, i had to borrow our maid's bus card to get to the gym.

Nowadays, buses are built pretty much spacious, and i realized that the best thing is there are no steps at the exit. It's flat, so i feel its safer. Its only 3 bus-stop away from my destination and it took less than 5 mins everytime, costing $0.69 per single trip, it not only much cheaper than 2hrs carpark cost ranging between $2.14 - $3.00++. Yes everytime i would be at the gym for about 2 to 3 hrs. So it's quite rush & I had to time my schedule to avoid d' extra $1+ charge for the carpark, and taking a bus definitely allows more time to shop around but also spend more more lah.

Still driving is convenient, park straight at the lot & took the lift up, of cos the hassle does not differ much, its only a habit we're used to. These days, I kept losing combs and even water bottle at the gym cos i forgot to keep after blow drying my hair. Argh...

Lately...we're browsing around for furnitures and going through the steps of planning for the home. It's quite interesting as we look around for different price tags of items such as hob and hood, toilet bowl, basin and etc. We also discuss design on furniture like dining table and computer table or so.

Saw a dining table made in germany at liang court we loved but did not commit and still thinking. Anyway i'm not sure if it'll match the reno of our house also, but its a unique piece, so mayb possibility quite high. Hmmm, c how first.

We had juz bought a sofa few days back from om @ liang court we both loved as it is huge and lush, 3 seater + corner + 2 seater, and our dream 46" samsung B7000 led tv today. After much survey these few months it is still d best tv around and tops our list, of cos if budget allows the dreamiest dream dream tv would be pioneer kuro, the latest version fully made in japan - woah definitely a super dream one, initally tot of buying, but budget la, better put aside for other usage: wat to do? Juz be contented as we had gotten some of the best already too. Some of our other choice are panasonic viera but the z series plasma is super duper overpriced, not value-for-money thou' it's using pioneer's panel. Wanted a plasma samsung B850, but still led is the best large tv for watching local tv show in comparison to other tv. So the decision is firm and rite. & We love wat we have.

Ai, hopefully everything goes smoothly cos hubby is working real hard, he really deserve all the finer things in life. I've not been able to help much, sometimes a lil guilty. Anyway we'll c how things work.

So, dear friends out that sorry if i had rejected the macau trip we're gonna enjoy (do u hear me dear zy & ht) and sorry if i may not be joining for d' bangkok trip too (dear janice frenzy). Cos my reason is I had to give up some to fulfill others. ...When things r rite...there's always another!

It's an enjoyable process. I will and want to remember it as much as possible.

Life is great; when we think it is.

Be thankful; so long as we're still breathing..

Omy Blog Award

Was going thru' my twitter account as i intend to add it here in the blog. Whilst scrolling thru' & deleting unwanted mails, I juz realized tat there's ppl who actually nominated my blog for the omy award in April. Thanks Alvinology!

Anyway it's too late to register for it. But was a happy surprise for me.

Been kicking & boxing too much for the past weekend. Sweat till the hair is very wet; the feeling is o-so-shiok!

But confessing tat I've been munching hard too...how to keep in shape this way?

Too much spare time on hands, will be blogging muchie too! =D

Continued back from d' last post

We didn't go to lunar that night, but went to our friend's newly opened place, Social House @ Liang Court.

Well, we enjoyed the night's off with lotsa boozing, laughing & entertaining within ourself. We were shown to how d' private karaoke rooms looked like, the jap restaurant menus, kitchen, and private party arena. We were entertained by dancing of some handsome dudes and a lot of sexy girls, there is even one girl who did a strip-tease dance (ps: down to wearing the minimum of cos).

I found pics of the cheongsam I'm wearing when I shown to Janice yesterday when she visited my place & my pup.


This is the one. When I was 19, waistline 23" :)

Remember we talked about my classes at amore. Well, so far I have attended quite a number of different classes. The first 2 was jazz & lo-impact (not stretchfit), then subsequently kickboxing new body, stretch fit. Then another class of stretch fit and lastly cardiolatino yesterday.

Let me go through one by one what I had learnt, the differences and processes I enjoyed.

Jazz: Its dance movement is graceful. But unlike those jazz dance that we see on Jacky Wu' s show where plenty girls danced, it look so nice & beautiful but in actual when I first learned, my hands and legs coordination wasnt' so good. Maybe I could have done better if I attend a few more lesson. Feel the sweat when its coming to the end part only.

Lo-impact: Well, I like this too, and am able to follow through what the instructor had taught, just that I feel the usage of arms, or toning of that area was not quite emphasize. But overall was great and fun, and involves those kind of cha cha cha moves too.

Kickboxing: Wow, I finally know why so many ladies attended this class. I must say it is very powerful. Powerful kicks, box, elbows, tummy hits and so, it was so forceful. The instructor is very good. She tells us not to knock on the door but to gives heavier punch or box when we perform those moves. She is not only graceful when doing the warm-ups & downs, she is definitely a motivating one.

It can get very very tiring doing the kickboxing with so many kicks. If my treadmill run can score me a heart rate of max 180's per min, then I guess this kickboxing would even more +++ it makes use of all our body parts. As I am a beginner and also a first-timer to this, it gets even more tiring...thou unsure if im juz building up my stamina. At times I find it difficult to even lift my legs, after lifting it for so many times. I confessed i even cheated a bit by skipping some moves or not working hard on certain moves.

Initially I thought, oh how come there is no short break at all, and we just keep continuing and continuing, I really really feel so much like stopping, but thanks to the encouraging instructor and the big group of class, it pushes me to go further.

I really loved this class and will go again & again. I wanna tone my body!!!

Next up was the new body class: This lesson was taught by the same kickboxing instructor, and was the next lesson after it on that saturday too. It makes use of dumb bells to tone our body parts. I loved this too as, she focus on our arms, thighs, abdominal, butts or etc.

But the part that I dislike is holding on to, or performing certain moves that held on to the weight, as of cos again to a greenhorn like me, I felt that my arms were super tiring, and the 2kgs dumb bell each on one side, eventually becomes like 5kgs after holding to some posture.

But I'll definitely go again for this class, as toning is very important, and it is one good class to attend, of cos with the motivation of this lady instructor.

Strechfit 1: The first stretch fit lesson I attended was taught by a petite instructor. She touches on stretching every parts of our muscles on the body, some simple yet useful moves. She mentioned that it helps to prevent breast cancer and osteoporosis, While doing certain stretch, we can hear some of the popping sounds, which is like air trap surrounding our bones area. Good instuctor, after the stretch my body felt relieved too.

Stretchfit 2: The 2nd stretchfit lesson was taught by another lady instructor, and this was her class after power yoga. I thought that some of her moves actually comprises those of yoga, and is a different version of the stretchfit class I had attended. She looked very nice & pleasant. I can't really define exactly how her stretch fit classes are like but there was also making use of the tummy area and butts area, which I like most too. Her class is enjoyable and relaxing. Love it!

Cardiolatino: Cha cha cha....More to the sexy dance move. This is the class taught by a male Phillipino instructor other than the jazz class I had previously attend. Wow, we can really learn how ppl dance cha cha. Just that I did it quite funny as inexperienced. Even sexy moves can become weird poses. Haha....but really enjoyed it. Cardio level was okay, the pace was kept quite steadily throughout.

My tots: Through more of these lessons, I feel that my stamina gets ahead better with time. Every different kinds of classes have different kinds of warm ups and downs. All the instructor were equally great. I enjoyed each & every of the classes and feels fun, & the 1 hr kicks by real quickly, compared to an hour of boring run on the tread. Also, then I learnt new dance moves & make my penny worth. I wanted to remember all those moves when I came back home or have it written down, but lazy me....So hack it.

So much so on the exercising & energizing part, back to my home again...

Lastly mentioned on reno-ing the house. Hiiiya....count left right up down, also tat certain amount for reno, not including additional new furnishing. Really headache. Needs to get hold of $ the shortest possible time, but difficult. Don't wanna delay the process on the conceiving part but of cos' also wanna reno the house. Really realy wanted lor. Dun wanna take loan, it's a no-no. Dun wanna pay for years after years for debts. It gets so tiring & stressful on the tot of it.

Hopes that my Ace of Pentacles on the Tarot Card Reading comes true!

Its been long

Lazy~!

If I could have posted pictures, yes plenty! not of me, but my new pup, a toy poodle in parti colour, the biggest surprise I had which I brought home on 5 June 09. She's named Tiffany. Videos of her, half a dozen. More of her, of cos...but not now...

I still remembered the first living thing given to me by my first love when I was 12. It was a goldfish. I kept for a day, and through feeding the wrong stuff, I can't recall if it was biscuit or bread, and it died the next day. The 2nd living animal received was from my previous longest steady bf was a white rabbit which I reared from a palm size bunny to a big-sized one. So this third one from my hubby is definitely a great surprise. She is god darn cute, and I need a blog post itself to talk abt her. So, till next tym.

Since then I had been playing with her, getting pretty much occupied, + recently I had joined gym at amore and ~ so far so good. Years back, I went to gym wif my gd galfriend mandy, now I had to go alone, but i does not feel any distances or boring when I'm in the gym, I pretty much enjoyed doing it alone too. Membership is expensive, so I took the 1 year plan only for fear of no committment later. Spent $1320 + 10%. Good thing is that it extends for mc, overseas or pregnancy. So, I must say it is good for me.

Had went for 2 classes till now. The jazz class was taught by a Phillippine male instructor and the Stretch Fit class I attended yesterday was taught by a pretty late 20's female instructor. I must say I pretty much enjoyed those lessons & lose some carbs through those fun. I used to go for the hip hop class donkey years back, the male instructor was dancing great too! I will want to try the yoga & belly dance :D. O'yeah, and I went for a steam bath too, I told myself imma gonna bring my beauty mask the next time round.

Today is Saturday, and imma gonna go for kickboxing class at 12.30pm followed by a new body class at 1.30pm. Often I would spent time in classes for warm up, before proceeding to the treadmill for a 30min cardio run (well i used to run for an hour: i need to step up again), then other cardios, then weight lifting and crunches. I'm maybe looking forward to go for a swim at amore swimming pool at tampines 1, and try out the oxygen room. Well, it's far away, but since I got a birthday party to attend at bedok tomorrow, might as well on the way.

Yup, probably getting my body in good shape to fit in a nice bikini before I get preggie one day and leaves a flabby stomach, so I gotta do it. Of coz, for some good reasons, I had to prep myself for good body conditioning, so that my future baby will have a good environment to grow in my stomach.

Back last week, I did something which I wanna do for a long time. I did vbeam laser on my face to get rid of my strickening acne redness. Damage was $960 including consultation, creams, mask & laser. Boy was it expensive, it hurts so much to overblow the savings. But face is important! So? Worthy or not? I must say rather effective, and dr chua from sloane clinic is good, and while she chatted along wif me when she did my face, it makes time flew. However as what is recommended a 6 sessions would do wondrous. That's a package of $3000. I'm still considering hard as that's a lot of money to me, to cough out an additional $2.4k is no easy task. I can do so many things with it, like buying some pieces of furniture for the house, or buying a new bag or save for the whatever emergency i might land in.

Talking abt home, ever since we shifted in our home for the past one and a half year. Almost everyday, there is basketball, ping pong and badminton. So, we always gets the musical sound of sports from below. Sometimes, pok pok pok....., or pin porg ping porg...

Finally we made the decision to renovate the house. We're left with no choice as the preparing of baby conceiving, we have to hasten the decision. Making baby is not as easy as whipping up a meal, we never know the success rate so we gonna try asap.

Well, and thinking of my friends lately, close friend like mandy, even without frequent contact, we still have d mutual understandship and friendship. And good close friends like Joyce becomes sensitive of my behavior and Janice, makes me feel even closer as she always keep in check of my mood, and becomes a pot where I can pour my unhappiness and share my happenings. I guess that's what real friends are, they are not afraid to come to you when when u r a lil down, and they do not fear of listening to what u r gonna grief. Wow!

Girlfriends accompany you, goes shopping, mani pedi, and gossip....wow! Yes, I bought a lovely dress from Bebe, again with encouragement from my close friend, Janice. And Im planning to wear it on my bro-in-law's wedding. So looking forward! Definitely post pics of the dress when I wear it. Absolutely absolutely adore it! I can't remembered the time I spend so much for a dress, the last was probably a tailored -made goldish butterfly bare-back chio cheongsam I had years back. Just wore it twice, waist inch 23, guess I can no longer fit in anymore and shall keep for remembrance.

Had sent my Cartier watch for servicing, change batteries and crystal glasses and oiling the movement, custom made a white lizard strap which I will receive in 6 months. Finally a good change from my 2 previous alligator dark-coloured ones. Gosh, hoping to wear it during X'mas, best if I can recieve earlier.

Okay, and last to talk about was I wished for a miu miu coffer bag. Too bad we will be renovating the house soon. Everything is so out of budget and pocket will be tight. I'm gonna scrimp and save hard to buy things for my lovely house. :)

<
p>Pretty much for my life now like this...Gonna meet the girls tonite at Lunar! Yippie!! Loves!!!

HDB & Ice cream cons

Majorities in s'pore stays in a hdb flat...& of cos unless i strike toto im no different.

But im totally not sadden abt tat part, im so contented wif wat i have, happy...glad & treasured it! Save that for my next life lah!

Everytime early in the mornings, we would get irritated by the 'karung guni' man aka the used newspaper collector a.k.a used radio, tv & clothing collector who pays a miserly sum to our used items. Of course, at times they get items for free.

Each time they would travel from level to level in hdb high-rise buildings, shouting -------> Karung guniiiiii...videoooo...radiooo...dian si giiii ('tv' in hokkien). It ryhmes!!!

& late sleepers would probably b annoyed by em'. & Yes...my place got plenty of karang gunis too. Tat's d disadvantage staying in a hdb. BUT, but last time when i used to meet customers who stays in landed, i must also say that i get pretty annoyed by dog barks, especially during the evening times, or when some ppl passing by or when they go haywire? Its nothing better than those karang guni shouts.

Alright, im definitely not boring my post with this karang guni thingy, its just a phase of tots. Its actually the ice cream.

Sometimes we do get vendors visiting our home for the so-called 'door to door' biz, selling items of non edibles to edibles, eg: yakult, curry puff (in d old days), hifi, wok series etc.

Oya'...i used to do tat too...but selling alarm clocks! I combed a few blocks but i got ZERO sales! & i tried another time selling children's educational products in commercial buildings to OL, responses were equally bad. So, from then on, i gave up and decided to hate door to door sales!!!

Okay, back on track... to the ice cream thing. Yes, now so oftenly we get ice cream sellers. (Teenagers)....(used to be yakult sellers are aunties and curry puff sellers malays)..

ok, today we got a pair of teenager, a guy & a gal at the door. My grandpa walk to em' & spoke to em', yes d' finally part is we bought from them too. I did walked to the door after my grandpa wants to buy the ice cream & while waiting for her change, i briefly looked at the white styrofoam box they contained those assorted ice-cream flavours from durian to choco to red bean & sweetcorn.

This ice cream cost us $12.90.

Which i would labelled as expensive! Same sentiments is shared by ah gong. So we chatted after we bought the ice cream and i got to know that the young girl actually told ah gong that she's from malaysia...and her parent is sick back home & she's working part-time during her school holidays now, and wants my ah gong to help her.

Initially i tot they r some flyers distributor, but when i know we're going to buy some ice cream, i did not hesitate, thinking that its gd to help ppl who works hard & since we could afford and it doesnt cost a pinch, i wouldnt say no.

But it sorta annoys me to find out the fact that she resorts to sympathetical dialogues for selling her stuff, and getting a soft-hearted elderly to buy the ice cream from her.

Take this-------without knowing the conversation between them, i bought the $12.90 ice cream gladly for it being expensive. Hey! 1 tub of haazen daz might juz cost merely a few bucks more & sometimes i couldnt even bear to buy for myself.

So, principally or morally or i should say conscientiously i dislike the way she made her sales pitch. She did caught a customer at heart to buy from her & no doubt a sale is a sale, but i juz dislike how she used pity to made ppl to buy expensive products from her. Surely there's a better way????

Reading till this part....thinking tt im mean to say this? Thinking tt she might be truely poor?Well, im not one who likes to pick on ppls fault & showing it off.. but judging the way shes dressing, her speech... she doesnt sound malaysian to me, & her well-pedicured toes totally sold her off.

She's probably a student whos earning the bucks during school holidays. It doesnt matter so much as to the overpriced value of the ice-cream but the scheming conning lies to make ppl buy from her.

=o Probably it might be my misjudgement of her, but whether its experience or six sense or feelings, it seemed to me a packed of lies for her explanation to close the sale. Nonetheless, its just a pea issue, but i just feel like voicing my points.

Bumble Bee Friday

Woah...activities everyday.. guess days without work really ain't too bad. I wouldn't had been able to go out if im workg.

Yep, friday just gone to ikea to get some curtains. Too bad it's out of stock, but luckily i found blind made of the some material that i wanna get, it's called trappler, those kinda black out blinds....now my room is very cosy place to sleep in. Get curry puff for me & ah gong and hot dog for the maid. After we had shopped, we moved on to the next destination at somewhere near bugis-bencoolen. Looked ard for a gourd to put in ah gong's room, yes to cure illness star in the west. Finally found one that we like, bought some lychees and settled for a bowl of 'gui ling gao' and herbal tea before going back home.

Evening time was date with hubby & friends. Went for foot reflexo the 2nd time in the week. the first we even went ear candling. Wow, it was shiok, service & place was gd, i even managed to catch my last episode of drama comfortably lying there for the hour. The lucky best time of my massage. Hmm...following yummy supper of crab, ba-long-long drink, dozen after dozen of chicken wing, prawns, mushroom......wow...seafood!

Alright then back home we go...

Yesterday we went shopping for lcd/plasma....still havent found a suitable...not really but gd ones we like, reallY $$$xXx. we have waited months to search for a gd one, so what's a wait to another IT show. Last 2 weeks, we went to the show at suntec & orchard, prices werent slashing like crazy or, wholesale as per advertised. Nevermind....hopefully we can get our dream tv soon. we'll wait for prices to find a best deal!

Janice coming next tue to my home to do nails for me. Yeppy, so happy! Gonna appt wif da' girls next sat, but first before to cindy's bb full month. Then we'll be gg to a newly opened club by my friend at liang court, social house. Hmm...looking forward to the week!

Havent been uploading pics to my blog, guess gonna do so, otherwise in the future when i looked back, i might missed out a lot of memories.

Woooohhh....i love my life!

Love my hubby!!!

Retract my previous impulse post & statements...........

I love love love my lao gong. Wow.......nw i know y i do love him deeply & madly as always, it must be truly his love for me.

Hmmm....sweet bits...juz like my hubby :P

Oh...& Im so ever happy today! I realized tat if he's not tired, we do stick to each other a lot!! i must be insane at d' fumbling & frustrated mood when i wrote in a spite on tat occasional mood swing. Haha...im back 2 norm again...

Love life as it is....& treasuring it....

My love life

I NEVER blog such things....but somehow i feel like penning down as part of my memory tots. Lately, i tried some quizze on facebook...& i realized something..I know erm, for the fact tat my partner IS (all along meaning) like this since we started dating...& still d' same after marriage...It's been past our first decade of love & strong relations...

But...

our love/behaviour is kinda different,,,comparing to most couples or my previous relationships...

We did what most couple does...probably as time goes by or as what my hubby's nature is, we seldom to or either a----------long long time of never holding hands/french/sleeping like d; first night on bed/...................goes on

We do kiss each other nighty or goodbye, sometimes a once over the blue moon bear hug. At times, accidentally touches my hands or while crossing the road, we held hands.,.. and yes he does want my blew kisses over d phone.

Oh my, typing away i feel a bit of whining right here abt what lesser romance i'm getting...i'm very sure he does love me,,,,(or mayb he's too man?..mmm)

The bell rung when i met this question in the quiz: Does he always/sometimes look at you? (something like this)

It was me who always look at him, as sometimes we did not have everyday together, or rather so, i suppose a lifetime with him is still insufficient.

Oh my, oh my! this my thinking or is ......................................JUST WHAT AM I THINKING?

Gosh, am i in the right mind? But should my lover be doing this? Or i'm just asking too much?

He knows tat he is not a v. romantic person, but of course he is still romantic at times. Though he always give me blissful happiness, cut down my worries and......sometimes extremely lil surprises.............

well well, there was this question that i asked him the other day.

"Dear, what makes you happy"?

After given a v. short thought, he replied as long as he sees that i am happy, he is. (I & all ppl who knew us knows it true) (& I know that he does tat....cos even if he can pluck the stars for me whilst sacrifices endless obstacles or buy at a price he can afford so long i love it, he would get it.)

But just but...forget it/ maybe im just asking too much...the things tat i wan r way too countless...& 1 after another.

I really dun wanna grow old like this......i kept telling him that we won't be like this old couples walking right in front of us holding hands at their age. (almost most of d' time i saw tis scenario) But won't we? or am i just thinking too much. (But he always assured me tat we'll do)

I KNOW THAT HE DOES NOT HAVE THIS REGULAR HABIT!!! & especially hugging/kissing in public is extremely extremely 'paiseh' (shy) for him.

Sad 2 say this, but i hope this my hubby is a better romancer...i felt guilty for blogging this right from the heart instead of expressing to him...but i guess he knows tat...he'll probably understand me...

He's busy & tired from his work....he tries but

Okay...I am married to him, but doesn't mean a wifey should be condemn to more privilege of such a gf enjoys.

Sometimes i wonder hw sweet is our love...he spends his most precious time with me going shopping, movies, fairs, holidays, whatever together while depriving part of his gd sleep/time/everything else.

His love is ultimately responsible, caring, doting, trusting...........

many many mores i can name it.....i deem him as d' most perfect hubby for me.....

i guess just some of tis lil imperfection flaws in him, i wanted....im just greedy lo...

He gave me a ruler but i need a measuring tape.

He never takes me as a burden......&

Is it our love / actions / behaviour too normal / peaceful like old couples that i could seldom to never feel this type of .........................dunno hw 2 describe :(

Rambling & rambling.......alright just as long as i feel gd...it doesn't kill me 2 blog this right....

It's just some of my feelings tat i feel im not getting enuff...although im given at times....

SPOLIT BRAT!

but.........he understand me much, but.........why doesnt...........

well.....he just cant give the world to me........

& i have to understand...

Ps:......i wrote this cos i feel like im the position as his wife & someone he loves very much...but i also want to inject some 'part tor' (dating) feelings into my love life le...he told me tat nobody can get back d' same kind of feeling that they first met/date...but this is different ma'? (I really dun wanna feel like he treats me as his wife only, but no LOVE!) I dun mean the love included to fulfill what was in the marriage vows.....but d other kind of love..............aiyo aiyo how 2 say????

& i dun wanna feel like he loves me mentally....i may need some physically proves like staringly lovingly at me / looking at me during some nice meals....not as a best girl partner in the world....but d' kind of....(cant explain)

10 years...

everything is so normal so normal so normal.................................................

I want to pursue happier romance, i dun want 2 be d' initiator in tis, i want to feel tat he loves me as his woman.......


YES, i think i found all the words in the empty blanks tat i cant feel in....Mentally i know he loves me v. much as his woman..but physically...is it cos, im not a 'woman'? (d feminine/womanly/sexy/blank..i dunno how 2 put it) Is it i am getting more unattractive?, or is it cos we are together for too long & too used to each other?

Can i dun want this?

I can't tell him cos .......

- maybe he'll get angry i ask too much
- it feels kinda weird to me, i feel funny telling him this
- i just simply dun fe3el like telling him this

But there is something i realise in man....when a woman never tells and use either hinting to make d' man guess it...d' man would never know what she wants....AND i am always like this...keeping to myself whatever shit i may have. Even after blogging for so long im still thinking should i post such personal tots to share.

Gosh.....this is a word by word long nag from my sudden frustration.....after the end of the last sentence + full-stop, i hope i will feel better & lose my wilfulness & get back to my right state of mind. It is not this way...maybe i am too sensitive & wanting too much & berserk.

Well,,,

How's my next 10?

Am i overboard? Am i complacent?

Okay......after the end of this long blog.............i really really feel some much better & probably things r not as what i feel, after relooking & considering it...Be it yes or no.......? Just take it or leave...he is already the best!

Now & ever...

Yep, been indulging into a rather restless lifestyle recently. Eat, sleep, online & repeat. Wasting away...yeah yes or no...i'm loving every bit of it.

At least I've got all the time in the world to spend with d' person I love.

Catching a relaxing short breeze...when i need no one to approve my leave

& best of all, dreaming away buying a toy poodle for myself, sitting on an imaginary new massage chair, watching a 46" tv.......& continue dreaming....wahhahaa...living live to the fullest is being happy at all times...& i'm ready to achieve tat....

=)

Problems again...& the next few things

Nah...I dun have any physical challenges in life right now. All's doing good for the moment. Happy, peace...nothing to think or worry about at the moment, except for making more bucks for more wishlist....Haha..everyone's doing tat right...

Juz got some problematic problems with my com. Couldn't read my usb reader so I couldnt upload any pics....ah...ok, might as well stay this way....one more week longer & I'll give up on uploading d' pics....d' pics of beautiful sand, sea & sun....mmmm...I missed those breeze...

I'm going to market on every tuesday from nw on...d' supermarket's food is costly with limited choices. thou' we can save much more but the drive takes an hour to & fro ^_^

Considering of gg back 2 gym again @ amore...gotta keep fit & healthy b4 im planning 4 a baby & watsmre they can freeze d' package if u're preggie...oh hw great!

My timetable-draft for d' following week:
Mon: Sign up for gym, gym & classes begins...
Tue: Go to wet market
Wed: Closed door Robinson Sale
Thur: Facial?
Fri: Blood Donations? / Party?
Sat: Outdoor 'jalan jalan' (walk walk)
Sun: East Coast? / Swimming?

Wahahah....1 week to a happier u =D
(but actually i still prefer to stay hm & laze...)

Wat abt U?

Fix it up...

I finally cleared up the storeroom, reorganize the bedroom & balcony...

...arising from the start of fixing the stupid com. My 1st original charger died on me, now the second, after hard times of uninstalling & reinstalling xp com and tuning my 2 broadband modems, sometimes irking me with connection probs, other times some stupid error, and another com of vista version tt dear brought me had to update d' modems, reading different help topics and gg thru' all possible causes....im so sick of doing this everyday for the past 2 to 3 weeks...tweaking here & there to access to the net.

Having an additional 2 other monitors and processors doesnt help too... try to fix it up a few times, and gave up after trying...& proceed on saving my laptop..& when laptop died...i go back to the same process....so after never-ending cycle and gives-up...I finally succeeded & got it done & locate myself @ d' balcony. (Dun like to have Tv or com inside rm, bedroom is for gd sleep, no disturbamce! :)

At least I can stop calling the technical helplines, as all they could me assist with is only the surface job...

I've always been lazy to clear up places, but I've got this 'guai pi' that once I started touches on something, I would go on & on and start packing on the others surrounding environment & trying to beautify it.

Yesterday, the rod that is hanging on my clothes got itself into an accident as I had overloaded d' clothes', it was broken...so while packing d' storeroom stuff all over the place in the living room, I had to halfway go back to d' rm and superglue, bandage and tied it up to secure it, then cover up the ugly damage with pretty scarfs and bags...gd creation I must say, now the racks look even better than it used to be...

Some off track hm issues....

I was thinking of buying a burgundy poodle, I really really like it a lot...but le...wat if im going to conceive a baby soon....then quite troublesome right?

After baby...where got time for dog, I think will focus a lot on baby then...but I really want the dog...too.....hmm....if got dog next time hse got renovation also difficult...so many considerations.....

For beauty's sake

Feeling heaty, got plenty of acne, getting rid of internal toxin? Nah...not promotion here. Just a beauty drink... for ppl like me with acne problems

Beauty beverage:

Hokkien pronouce 'leng yong'...good for cooling body heatiness, the way it's made taste even better than crysanthemum, heehee...better...like bird nest drink...yummy*

Want to know how to make it drinkolicious?...

One packet of 'leng3 yong2' (from any herbal store) -$12

One big bowl of water

Few winter melon stripe -less than $2

Oh yes, preparation:

Boil winter melon with water until it turns white in colour. Remove winter melon and boil 'leng yong' with the water. Boil in crockery pot for 2 hours. Remove all herbal particles & taa-da!

Yum Seng!!!!!!!

Making Ondeh Ondeh

Oh, recently make almond jelly and ondeh ondeh. I'm a tad lazy to write throu' d' process, so I'll juz shortcut a bit.

Making ondeh is a quick & simple recipe :)

We begins:

Ingredient
(The Skin)
1) Sweet Potato, 2 pcs
2) Tapioca Flour, 200g
3) Sugar, 3 tablespoons
4) Coconut milk or water, use coconut milk from 1/4 grated coconut or 100g
5) Optional: Pandan essence for slight flavoring

(The fillings)
1) Palm sugar / gula melaka ($1), ps: it's better to use chop pcs of gula melaka for easy wrapping - tips: use knife to chop with help from the strength of a pounder

(The coating) - mix evenly & steam for 5 mins
1)Grated Coconut (about 1/2 pc, approx $0.70)
2) 1/2 teaspoon of salt


Recipe:

Peel & Steamed sweet potato until soft.

Pound steamed sweet potato until mashed.

Mix Tapioca flour with sugar evenly.

Add sweet potato to the flour and knead.


Add coconut milk slowly and knead until dough is soft.



Boil a pot of water. Do a trial test to test the filling & Q-ness of texture.


Form small ball from the dough. Flatten ball and wrap in the palm sugar / gula melaka and seal up.

Add all wrapped balls into the boiling water and cook until it floats to the surface. Dish out and drain.

Roll and coat with the grated coconut.


Put in fridge for 10 mins, and ready to serve.

Ps: Do not put in the fridge for too long or it will lose it's Q-ness and becomes hard.

Oh. I really was away

Just browsing around the net which I dun so often do now, I check if my blog is still around...& seen that I had been away since Nov. Time flies and my dearest ah ma had almost left me for half a year...

I couldn't stir any real desire to blog words or pics. Somehow, still, feeling my hands on the key typing away doesn't seem too bad. Chinese New Year's a few days away, and it pains to be missing my dear love around. I'll be going by the columbarium on the eve of Chinese New Year to pay her a visit. Went to watch Love matters last night, and before the show starts at vivo, I bought some magnetic tiny pcs, resembling bowls of dumplings, red beans soup, prawn noodles, porridges and maggi mee. I know it sounds silly, but yes I intend to stick on the tombstone...it reminds me of her...picking up those magnetic pieces last night really feels in me..no matter what I buy, it's dump or dumb.

This year is a colder new year with just me, ah gong and the maid...Life's still goes on..& will not turn back...

oki...anyway...tomorrow i'm gonna do some last minute shopping if i have time..still shorta a cardigan, i think i'd like a black and a new pair of stockings, some new bras and panties...new eye stuff..maybe a new lipstick color, and i would need a shisedo uv make up base, a pair of earrings...hopefully sufficient time to luckily secure a mani pedi services and an abrupt visit for a hair dye. If all in all doesn't turn out to be any of the above, i guess just leave it. I'll not gonna care so much abt it...& i think this could probably be the only year i'm not gonna take new year's pic.

of cos,,, i definitely would have no time for ikea shopping or dolling up my room. i've not even really go and pack my room stuff..but who cares...as long as it's clean...i'll probably hack care...too.

oh yes, i need some thumbtack, superglue & scotchtape for sticking those things..

The feeling is absolutely bad...

I lost my beloved hp.

It's sad...

I miss my dear phone so much...

All my friends or enemies ->Pls update my your contact nos.

Thanks!!!!!!!

Email to: mysharoning@gmail.com

U hate this word - FAT

Shit*! Eat & EAT & eat & EAT...

Wish I could be distracted by things that can keep me busy.
U know cos i dun waste food...i can eat like 4 or 5 main meals a day. (Rice with veg with meat Etc...)

This is not right! Carbo...then fats! Argggggh!

Enough! I dun think I can ever go on a diet with my foody mentality full of food images & food prioritize-mindset.

Every now & then I craved for ang gu kueh with yellow 'dao sa' (bean paste) fillings, french fries, kinder bueno choco, rice with side dishes, char kway tiao, carrot cake, malay rice etc etc.....................

How huh, liddat?????????

In for a surprise

October had been so..., and november is juz outrageous...

Had watch tropic thunder (laughing our ass off) & Saw 5 (squeezing away my packet of milky sweets as was crushing the man / gushing the blood through those blades) in the past week with an added surprise in btw.

Nov 1 was the date for dinner with hubby & his friends...Kallang Leisure...

Alright...we grab a mac meal before arrival...COZ he was too hungry...(i tot we're gonna have dinner soon....but anyway.........i'm dying for french fries too..)

Upon reached Kallang, saw plenty of ppl & was wondering whose concert is it?

While walking towards Leisure Park, at the point where it's leading to the bridge...he flashed this!

Without taking a good look, d' 1st 00000000.1 sec to 1 sec, I was thinking away ehhhh....a ticket?!?! (Hmmm?!? Whose?!) Took a good look &

It was CRAZY! IT was CRAZY! IT was CRAZY FOR ME!

Lee Hom has got the best concert amongst all the top celebrities...Last year we went...This year I wished...& my wish came true.

It was really a sudden surprise, cos it happens when u dun most expect it... I was expecting a dinner treat instead. It gotcha...it got me...

And thanks to this....we were abt less than a metre apart from him in his galore presence on the stadium ground. Whoa! Wow! Au!

Happy.....Hope my nov & dec & next year goes well too.......!~*

Plenty of work to be done.......

After 2 months

Days after days, 2 months past...

Last night, lala mentioned abt d' blog, & Gar too asked abt this 'Xi Kor' (rusty) blog.

Frank truth of those months within had caught me in a life of stillness.
Life for the past months wasn't too bad, but it just ain't complete; cos A BIG PART is missing.

Space more empty;
Air tranquil,
Tv shows on deaths & funerals thrusting deep to hearts;
reminding us of that one person again & again.

Night, the time come of emotions;
stir waves of deep affections.
Memories, etched in mental faculty;
drew images of laughter & sadness.
Blog, the place of creations & writings;
almost lost in touch with time, with;
forgetful feelings killing the finger search of keys on board.

We managed past the 1st month, so at times it seemed the 2nd just got easier. Somehow in frequent discharge of the day for each & every day is spent on reminiscing her voice & images.

I still & always couldn't forget the day she died. Telling myself why she left...so people actually will leave one day, not in your anticipation even though it is in existence. Prepareness is caught unprepared, we are never prepare for death...not mine, not theirs.

Things changes...bond with my mum is better, we got a maid which is marvellous, I'm slowly learning to apprehend happiness surrounding.

Hmm....I always wished I would see her again...but it's never gonna happen till my death. I've dreamt a total of 4 times of her, feeling happy awake whenever I see her in dreams...

I know I will write to no end of this...for a start of writing...I just wanna do so...blogging touch, like I've just mentioned almost lost to the mood.

Spending 26 years with her, I now have to use a lifetime to tolerate the pain...
It is such a miserable punishment...& I'll be so scared to go through any of it again...

Ah ma....I miss u..

On July 29, abt 5.30am: my 70 years old beautiful, cute, lovely & beloved ah ma departed me.

26 years of my deep affection to you, nurtured by you... remains & hurts...

I can never have imagined there'll be a day I'll see her lifeless without breathing & heartbeat & motion. It's forever etched deeply in my memories & heart...

I knocked off from work and reached home around 9plus where she was already asleep in the living room. Ah gong wanted to take care of her, but i insisted I could..yet...i dunno wth i'm doing by allowing her to sleep on the sofa, not bearing to wake her up from her sleep...& so she continued to sleep like this forever...(why didn't i sensed that she was semi-unconscious & not totally tire-out, when she seems to be having some difficulty to wake?)

She was with me the whole night in the living room.

She: was sleeping on the Fann wong's auctioned sofa we all loved, with a tiger-striped blanket.

I: was sleeping on a beach chair beside her with my blue plush doggie & blanket, intending to look after her, on behalf of ah gong so that ah gong can rest soundly in the room.

I was awakened by every little movement of her & accompanying her throughout till 3 a.m. Little did I know my wake at 6 a.m. would be something so different.

heart really sank when ah gong touched her leg & said in hokkien: ah ma 'bo2 ker3 liao4' (ah ma no more / ah ma is gone), i was like (in my heart), 'HUH'? is ah ma dead? Then...i couldn't believe she's dead, & couldn't accept for a while. (checks - no breathing, checks - no stomach movement, checks - no heartbeat), & i still hurriedly called for the ambulance in a nervous tone, meanwhile going berserk trying to get ready & bringing my bag with me to the hospital (althou' she seemed dead).

Thru' rescuing from paramedics, it was to no avail. They said she was gone half an hour before they arrived. So, so very depressed. At the same time, ah gong had a shock. (He dropped the house phone he held several times after dropping & picking up during talking on the phone, later he told me he felt giddy & murmured in a slow motion stuttered way) I was so glad that the paramedics was still around at that time or I would be in a big lost. I was so worried that something would happen to the other beloved.

I kept repeating while crying...'an1 zua4 eh3 an1 ni1 kuan4',.......'an zua eh an ni kuan'.....(why like that?...how come like that?)

Few minutes later, I had to gradually accept the cruel truth. The cycle of nature in the world that brings birth, aged, sickness & death...

She left me without a word, without bidding goodbye...

Perhaps she knew she couldn't make it...perhaps she insisted on sleeping in the living room to wait for me.

That monday night, ah ma requested ah gong to feed her for the first time in their 30-40 years together.

She probably passed away by my side for i could be the first one she will see when she leaves.

It was terribly unbelievable for me to accept the fact, b'cos it was too sudden...

All too sudden for a healthy person to suddenly fall sick in a week or 2, then just go like this. Leaving me & ah gong in our solemn lonely world. I would never have the courage to continue my path if hubby & ah gong isn't there for me...I stay strong for the dead & alive...

I blamed & felt guilty at times for not being the one to save her, when i was all along with her. perhaps it is all destined

(like what ah gong said: There's a time for birth & a date for death.)
(dear's words of comfort: We might probably not be able to save her even if she was in the hospital)

I blamed & felt guilty for not waking her...

I blamed & felt guilty for falling asleep myself...

I blamed & felt guilty for not bringing her to the hospital again...

I blamed & felt guilty for not treating her with ultimate politeness & worry-free life before her death...

I blamed doctors & hospital for recklessness of responding lightly or carelessly in the attendance to her critical health with no good follow-ups.

I felt regret for not talking more to her before her death...(although we really talked much & stayed together....it will never never be enough for me...& never ever again will i be granted the chance)

I felt regret for not speaking to her in a better way...

I felt regret for not being more conscious of her sick sufferings...

I felt regret for not patching up with my mum before her death...(at least i did so after these few years...but y after the death...)

I felt regret thinking she was in dreams when she might probably be painful in her sleep...

I'm grateful for these 6 months stay with her again...after a decade of stay over at bf's house.

It's so hard for me to forget everything & especially her...

I miss her so much I wish time would just turned back...I would be different..(but it's never)

I miss ah ma's voice...

I miss ah ma's nag...

I miss ah ma's cooking...

I miss ah ma's existence...

I miss ah ma watching Hokkien opera with me...

I miss ah ma's smile...

I miss ah ma...

Ah ma....I miss my last journey with you...
I miss my time with you...I miss hugging you...

I have lost my words...like how I lost this beloved kin...

I never knew you would leave me, b'cos you are always by my side.
You left me too soon...too sudden...

You left me with yours & my beloved who felt much painful & lonely after you left. We are filled with emptiness on our own, in a quiet big house especially bought for you..

Now, I know what to treasure in life...(time & kinship only matters...)
Materials or possession & all are secondary...

Dear dear & gong gong are now my most precious...no other priorities above...

Her last photo taken when ah ma was alive, 08 Feb 2008, 10:47 pm Lunar new year.

You are always & forever beautiful...In my & our heart & in my & our memories...

You even died so beautifully...

You even have bones in pinkish.

my kind & mighty ah ma...I love you & I miss you.

Few years back...the pre 70 years old b'day celebration u ever had, the happiest & only one you ever celebrated... (Y can't I have another with you...?)

At least you witnessed my marriage...you stayed in my house...you cooked for me...all before you leave me...

My next celebration with you on your coming b'day next year, u must reincarnate to a better life...

I still want to be your grand-daughter & ah girl for many cycles of lifetime...

Can I not blog?

Lately...I'm permutated with tots of not blogging again. I'm beginning to write some of my exciting & happy happenings in a secret blog all for my fantasy, to keep tracks of lovely & memorable events...

I've got another blog to pour my distress as well...so this one is neutral & public..

...Like covering my public opinions & thoughts reflection.

Hmm...I'm intending to cut down on blogging, perhaps to once a month? Oh, I'm just thinking..?

Errmm..ppl usually say: I don't wanna be a showoff on my blog, where the next moments they'll be posting blissful pictures of lavish dinings or luxury livings. (Is actually a little showoff itself) This...if any, is gonna be kept at a secret blog - undisclosed.

Personal blog are blogs where ppl prove their lifestyles, their splurge or so..
Lately I know some friends in the rare group of rich splendour but the NOT proud or arrogant gang. Totally my idols!

Seen so many rich, poor, male or female, yet really really seldom come across ppl who bears not a tad bit of proudness or snobbishness despite being heavy spenders... U know what...some ppl with a little bit of money to spend or wine & dine in high class places tells the world abt their lives...or TALK LOUD!

But hell no...this is totally a success as a person in life. Success is not measure by the value of money, whereas persona wise...? however..., human's flaw still lies, thus holdings certain pitfalls in life too...

Many a times when ppl said something u're sure it's incorrect or truth-mixup, are u always there to perform the corrections or prove that u know more? Well, to withhold such anxious demonstration is yet another virtue many normal couldn't achieve, what's more for ppl a little well-off.

I was so super impress by this group of rare friends, which becomes my motivation to become a successful person irregardless of our wealth status. To keep quiet thou' u enjoy the best out of everything, to spend for your own 'shiokness' or happiness but never permitting it to fall into 'haolianness'...

I'm glad to find such ppl existence...Hmm...people with no airs...

还爱着你心中曾经那朵红玫瑰吗？

Drafted 16th June, 11.35pm

曾经，

是否有一朵这样的红玫瑰在你心中绽放。

曾经，

是否有一个美丽的名字成为你夜夜梦中的呓语。

曾经，

是否有一份深深的爱让你大喊：“为了你，抛弃天下又何妨？”

也是曾经，

愚蠢的丘比特、糊涂的月老只将心动给了其中的一个。

也是曾经，

三个字：“我爱你！”换来的却是四个字：“我不爱你！”

也是曾经，

承受爱一个人的痛苦却始终得不到被一个人爱的幸福。

…………

有这样一个故事（本故事纯属虚构，如有雷同，纯属巧合，请不要对号入座）：

男孩在见到女孩的第一面的时候就发觉自己爱上了她，
这绝对不是一见钟情的爱。
单相思是很苦的，男孩很聪明，他决定告诉她，告诉她自己的想法。
男孩知道有可能得到的是拒绝，但是至少也许可以作为一段美丽爱情的开端……
认识的过程很平常，很普通，却很惬意，不过在深夜电话中聊天真的可以拉近心与心的距离吗？

爱情，很容易让人冲昏头脑，对，的确是这样的……
表白，意外的被接受了，是该高兴吗？

时间，带来了失败的开端。美丽的爱情宣言变成了愚人节的玩笑…………
直到男孩清醒之后，才发现了这残酷的事实……
接着来的，自然是厌烦与拒绝，伤心与痛苦……

“这就是所谓的没有缘分！”
女孩这样说。

“爱一个人不需要任何理由，同样，不爱一个人也是……”
女孩还这样说。

“我只知道我会永远永远的这样爱你，永远永远的为你守侯……”
男孩这样回答。
…………

故事没有结束……
男孩这样说也这样做，只希望能够用自己的付出去打动一颗不属于自己的心。
还有什么叫痴情吗？

女孩的每个举动、每个变化都会牵动男孩的心。
还有什么叫迷恋吗？
梦中的呓语、酒醉的低吟，都离不开女孩的名字。
还有什么叫疯狂吗？

感动！
男孩得到了女孩的感动！
还有歉疚！
男孩永远无法得到女孩的爱。

丘比特的恶作剧？月老的童心？
制造了两个人这样的关系。

男孩完全不计较回报的付出、
不计较目的的爱永远都只能得到感动和歉疚。
“如果你给我一个机会，你会知道我对你的爱有多深。”
“好，我可以做你女朋友，但我却不能做到爱你。”
“如果你能爱我，我可以用我的一切去换。”
“你知道这是……不可能的……”

女孩哭了，男孩想哭，却忍住了，他知道了自己该做什么。
让自己心爱的人伤心，比让自己伤心要更痛苦十倍。
爱一个人，无论用什么方法都要让她幸福，让她快乐。

第二天，男孩变了……
没有了以往的痴情，没有了以往的眷念，也没有了以往的疯狂。
男孩以后再也没有去找过女孩，甚至再也没有说过一句话……
仿佛这段故事就随着太阳的升起而结束……
…………

故事还是没有结束……
v有人说，时间能冲淡一切，但也有人说，时间能证明一切。

三年后，
当男孩和女孩即将结束学业，各奔前程的时候，
当男孩和女孩分离后也许再也不能相见的时候，
当女孩仿佛想到做点什么的时候，突然听到男孩进了医院的消息。
“为了救一个小孩，被汽车撞了，还没有度过危险期……”医生如是说。
女孩哀求着想要见他，医生不同意。

“那求你转告他让他一定要坚强地活下来，
因为我……我发现我非常的爱他……”
医生在昏迷不醒的男孩耳边如实说了这句话。
医生仿佛看到男孩皱紧的眉头微微地松开了，嘴角泛起一丝笑意……
但是不幸，第二天早上，随着太阳的升起，
一个灵魂同时离开了它的躯体开始飞升……

女孩又哭了，男孩没有哭，临死的时候，嘴角泛着微微的笑容。
在墓碑前，女孩仿佛听到男孩的声音：
“我希望能永远看到你快乐幸福的笑脸……”

此后，女孩一直快乐坚强地生活，再也没有伤心过。
也许在别人看来，故事的结局未免不太完美，并不圆满，
但是不正如男孩所希望的，女孩得到了幸福与快乐。
也许曾经你的生命中也深爱着这样一个人，
由于种种原因，你们却永远无法在一起，
你怎么面对的呢？

不过，请记住：
爱一个人，
无论用什么方法都要让她幸福，让她快乐。
即使，要你选择放弃。
　
恭喜你，你收到了来自你朋友的这样一份祝福，你是幸福的人。请你继续将本页面转发下去，给更多的人带来幸福，带来快乐。传递给5个人，你就会发现你的人际关系变化了。谢谢。

0-4 人: 给别人带来快乐的人是最快乐的。
5-9 人: 给你带来快乐的人即将出现。
9-14 人: 马上就会有幸福的暗示了。
15 人以上:你的梦想终会成真。



A page send from a friend

-Shawn.

I was molested several times by 7 men in life.

Drafted 23 June, 1:50pm

Relating to Just Jean on her recent molest case, I can only say man is always a man, only with some diguised behind an invisible mask, while others truly gentlemanly with bundled colorful tails. With Jean being a victim, I read how unsympathatic remarks were made towards her:

"Seeing how desperate she is for a rich boyfriend, she probably seduced this "John" with the hope of landing a golden goose. Cry wolf when things didn't go her way. WTF she gotta be dumb.

At least John did not force it and eventually apologised to her when he realised she did not want "it".

She probably thought her CB made of gold. Good riddance."

What happened is her full story like this.

Molested by what she reckoned to be a nice, approachable guy friend when in Korea sharing the same bed spending 4 nights together, he actually sexually offended her on their 4th night.

Digging further into her story: The guy friend woo her for 2 years & parted $48,000 loan for her studies or car purchasing (rumoured both).

He initiated a hug she agreed and continue as friend with a later journey together in Korea, leading to the molest of what most accused or assumed to be a luring sex trap.

She later returned to Singapore telling her friends via MSN about the molest, while the man decided to sue her against defamation and demanding back the $48k he loaned her.

Other's view:

* Some People penalize her for seducing him and tagged her as a slut or whore.

* Some pity, sympathize her plight & morally supported her.

My view:

* I don't think trading $48,000 would mean an obedience sexual touch on the skin. The girl is not obliged to do so, she was accidentally forced (in the hotel).

* Any modesty outrage invaded is a legal offence in any country.

* She was probably surprise-fright and intimidated for she can be raped the next moment.

* However, we couldn't justified anything on this case as John shoot the arrow back at her.

* It became a black turn white, & white becomes black kinda situation; since the guy had pushed back the blame and shrug it off as the hug Jean (Amy) initally agreed him.

* News & forums' comments semi-confuse me into her real intention yet she is indeed victimised. I saw her image in the water like this case, couldn't see clearly what's right or wrong.

* Not many answer her call for help instead labelling her deservings. Tofu gobbled and men name it chicken pea, is the world so modernised???!!!


Too much mix feelings went through me when I saw her plight. It refreshes some dirty memories buried in my heart where only close friends knew.

I'm not too sure if any other girls were molested when they were young, or whether it is actually common or not to go through at least once in our lifetime.

I'm lucky to grow up mentally sound despite those despicable shadow.

Some friends knew about 1 or 2 of my molest case. But I've been keeping mum for the past 20 over years.

I was molested since I was very young before I even reached puberty & thru' the different stages of life till my early sec. I really wouldn't want to go into details about the past molest case at this point of time. It was dated times back. I never dare to tell any of my family members or report to the police, I only know how to keep it to myself.

I would describe it as embarrassed, shamed, lost, worried and scared.
* Worried what might happened if such were reported to the police.
* Was too stunned back then after each incident.
* Embarrassed to tell my family as we never share such topic, dunno how to put words into mouth.

Therefore I knew most girls who were molested must have felt like me, unless firstly encouraged by friends or teachers, as friends would be the first we'd confide in.

If I were to write a post of molest case each, I guess I can spread mine over a week of 7 molest cases each featuring a different men, some whose still boys back then.

I still remembered clearly each of those incidents, where and how it took place, where some of them used to stay, who they are, some family's friend's son, family's friend, some bastard whom I knew, some friend's bro and even some stranger.

This is definitely not something glorious to speak about, probably a person's rep might be even put down. Even if I dun uncover such truth today, I will still do so sometime after cos' I want to share all of the geuine roller coaster life encounter. All those unlucky/bad encounters that many ppl might never have the chance to try. Hence, I was already very reserved as I knew this is public. Nonetheless, I am just a minor on this planet.

It was very upsetting histories that could never be erased. Life goes go & those people who molested got away scott-free, except one who was punched like a pig-head on his birthday by my ex. It was never a fair society, especially preying for young underage girls who had no rational and was naive and pure.

It took me some courage to write this little piece of thing, even to publish it after hesitating few days to firm this post. So, when openly opening up means opening up gracefully, I shouldn't be shamed at the expense of others' fault, neither should it be tag as a dirty linen. The 7 days story might probably never be published. I probably couldn't face any insult or unbearable remarks for sharing the story.

Becos':

MAN's shoe is always different from...


...a WOMAN's heel.

Dedication to the man I love

Drafted on 26 June, 4.34am

Dearest Dear,

Today ain't any special day at all. It's past anniversary & way pre-birthday.

This ain't going to be a romantic lovey dovey mushy letter; yet it translate pouring fullness of my inner thoughts.

Just even on a pretty normal day in midst intersection of dark & dawn, after 9 years 3 months 11 days 7 hours & 14 mins; I'm still so crazily in love with you.

I am so bless that you pretty much felt the same & sacrificing tediously for my sake.

I am always the lovely weapon that hook you back and go haywire to you, my warrior knight on the frontier. Nonetheless, no hesitation & complaint intrude your love for it.

My inspiration to pen this sudden thoughts is just that I really miss you at times; perhaps when I need you most by my side.

Career is perking and I do not wish to splash cold water and wet slippery your stable feet, so don't worry about me & work just as you do now.

You are always there when I need you the most, I guess I can no longer find a better man; who...

* Bath me and care me when I had a month-long chicken pox.
* Lost & Frantically rush for me when I was robbed.
* Hug me tightly to sleep & pray with me when I'm afraid.
* Long hours of breathless accompanying & encouragement when I was down.
* Bring me different sorts of self-creation tasty cakes for my annual hatchday.
* Give a thought to each carefully words selection for the sensitive me.
* Always staying put with my forgetfulness, carelessness, & non-mindfulness.
* Did not held it against me when insurance was burnt even if liable to collect the insured sum.

The above sentence might sound like you're very caring towards me. But I guess only you and I know our hard-to-hard temper. It does not shows how deserving I am or the hardship we went thou' cos' it's not here to prove. It's sufficient to be kept for you can sense it more than anyone.

Which in fact, you are an extreme male chauvinist, although loving me very much.

You are NOT...

* very romantic
* full of surprises
* equilibrium with my standview

with acquiring sensitive quick temper.

yet you are churning my heart with your constantly improving change & forgiving attitude towards the stubborn, immature, super hot-tempered, careless & not-so-up to expectation letting down ME'!

But I can never thank you enough for your unconditional love.

Because no one is flawless, I'm loving you including accepting your flaw.
(Cannot love a perfect person, but instead loving an imperfect person perfectly is what we are actually implying)

I'm really glad I survived pass 2007. So 2008 should be chicken feet if nothing further crops up.

I love you dear!

When total darkness fall, you're my chronicle candle;
when sea boat capsize, you're my life-saving jacket;
when cruel tonardo swept, you're my hanging pillar;
when devil crept in, you're my legendary inspiration;
when danger befall; your magic spell illusioned my invisibility!

- Girl to dear :p

(Literary Works Copyright)

This post so reminds me of a post I wrote in between our angry quarrel & cooling period on da' same day. Which describe the bitterness in the inital sentences to the emotional thoughts at the bottom poem.

Only what different is... I'm fondly thinking & missing you now.

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This post ends here.

You know who this is for...actually it's meant to be kept...he has already seen it...but I promises to publish all drafts, didn't i?

My glads & regrets

Drafted on 27 June, 1.28pm

How shall we talk about life?

A something that everyones tumbles through old age.

How many regrets and wrong path we took on a forwarding rocky road with no U-turn sign?

The glads turn into wonderful memories that can never replay the same as the oldies black tape.

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The post ends here.

This post is rather short, cos my pen drawn deeply into my faculty of thinking. I shall continue from here...

Many a times, we graze through pending regrets of unamended momentums. I have had many of such times so often...

I'll go with regrets first...

1) Not treasuring Pennies...
...When I used to make a lot of money, I regret not treasuring each penny, but spending hard. I spend on so many things because money comes to me pretty effortless...
...& now that I'm in a little deep shit, I just once again re-acknowledge how lovely, cute & beautiful money is. (Perhaps it's a punishment for negligence to re-alight my fault)

2) My tattoo...
...The first time I had it on me was on at age 15. Cheap ink prints at 90 bucks on my back...? who would have known an easily covered-up area would turn to become a big blemish on a bride's halter or tube gown. Luckily my long hair has always hidden it well...(I went through sufferings of pain to laser-rid it 20 over times, it was still to no avail...,tattooing comes cheap & painless...while lasering brings pricey pains)

3) Not completing my studies...
...Should I put it as I pick the wrong course, or I failed to...Alright I chose CIM, & just completing one cert & given all up cos I find it pretty hard, especially for a non-working adults in my years 19 at that time...no confidence to complete 2 more certs before jumping to master degree...

I got another choice at that time...to go straight into 2nd year of completing bachel0r degree with my diploma in BA...bah..2 more years to get hold of tat piece of degree. Well..cos I think getting another higher qualification is none as crucial as making money at that point of time, anyway there's no limitation of age to studying...but looking back...to going thru' it once more for the need to use it at some moments...just *sigh...

4) Bad financial classification...
...Like I said we spend $ wrongly all the times, be it business or social...Planning on finances was never our specialty. But it definitely has to be one...as it is the most important one..To start all over again - simply means REGRETS..


My glads now... =D

1) I got the right man...
Remember everytime people said: 男怕入错行, 女怕嫁错郎! (The man fear of entering the wrong profession, the woman fear of marrying the wrong husband!)
...Need I spell further?

2) Comprehended life...
My roller coaster life brings me into the new light of life, I begin to comprehend life in this world...

3) ...I don't really wanna mention too much, I've gain... & lost...I'm worried that things here will no longer be around....

Sorry...Notice

I know I've been lacking of substantial gd post...

I'm busy after settling all the office stuff ending the 2 yrs contract & clearing so many many items at the 1700 sq ft office warehouse.

Got so many dues to keep in checks every now & then...

So many things to settle back at job...

So many gd photos to upload...

So many lovely food & gd restaurant for intro...

So many many things to say & write it down...So many even thou' this blog is just 3 months old ~ it is already taking up a whooping space of 125 posts...Wow! Congrats ah~

I need time ya'...

Tomorrow & the day after, & another day after (Fri, Sat, Sun) I'll be posting up my drafts...yes...drafts are not finished yet... (with the next 3 days draft-post depicting the most important among all)

Stay tuned...

和尚与屠夫 Monk & Butcher

One of my customer sms me this which I find quite interesting...

从前有一个和尚和一个屠夫是好朋友。 和尚天天早上要起来念经, 而屠夫天天早上要起来杀猪。 为了不耽误他们各自的工作, 于是他们约定互相叫对方起床。

多年以后...

和尚和屠夫相继逝世. 屠夫去了天堂, 而和尚却下了地狱。

为什么?

因为屠夫天天做善事, 叫和尚起来念经。

而和尚天天叫屠夫起来杀生!

这故事告诉我们什么?...

不要叫人家起床杀生! 哈!

(我: 哎呀! 这故事又让我想起了一个人啊!)


Once, a monk & a butcher were good friends. Every morning the monk wakes up to chant Buddhist scriptures, while the butcher kill pigs. In order to not delay their respective task, thereupon they make mutual promises to wake their counterparts.

Many years later...

The monk & the butcher pass away in succession. The butcher goes to heaven, however the monk go down to hell!

Why?

Because everyday the butcher is doing charity work, waking the monk to chant prayers.

Yet the monk wakes the butcher up to kill life daily!

What does this tale tells us?...

Not to wake people up from their bed to kill life! Ha!

(Me: My God! This narrative reminds me of someone again ah!)

Charity Organization Breaks Confidence

First the big hoo-ha abt NKF (National Kidney Foundation), next is the other largest charity Ren Ci hospital, Venerable Ming Yi who accumulate people's belief in his charitable & brave act for charity donations are shattering the images of pure donation once again.

Behind the scenes are all cheats, loans, lies and breaching all trust placed upon. Now Ren Ci lost rights in granting tax exemptions for donors.

5 months ago, when the news published the processing of Commercial Affairs checks on several organization including Ren Ci, I expected this would happen too, just that after the NKF incident - I also begin to lose trust in certain organization as well.

Imagine these 2 cases are not involving amounts of $10,000 or $100,000 but several millions. $x,000,000.00, donated by kind-hearted saviours.

That was why initially I had difficulty choosing the right organization to donate as well. Guess donors wouldn't have a choice...

So in the end I selected thye hua kwan moral society. Reason being there several homes in Singapore, several disabled-equipped vans with dedicated staffs (seen by my own eyes), & best of all the unopened public commercialized exposure for donations. And that sum's up my consensus mind...

Maybe if there are more of such cases again, it's gonna be a 50-50 'tug-a-war' mind for considering donations...

Thankfully there are regular checks & probes conducted to suppress such accounts, at least donors feel appease with that.

What do you think?

Getting used to my short fringe

Drafted on 30th June, 1:31am

Eh? Another post again? So soon! Cos I suddenly recall to post my pic b4 I freaking shock my friends with "years' once" seldom-seen short fringe.

I've been contemplating to cut my fringe short for quite some time. Cos everyone is colouring brown & red & growing duper long hair & wearing contact lense & all these, & I'm suddenly bored by stuff like tat.

So, I decided to shortened my fringe, dye an almost black but deep brown colour, and cut away nasty frizz, but upset with the hairdresser "chopping" away my waist length hair to half length :c.

I'm also gonna ditch coloured lenses for some time cos I suddenly feel that amongst too many pairs of bewildering coloured-lense eyes, the beauty of original ethnic asian eyes becomes predominated to me, & I simply love the wholly clean honey eye look instead of those flowery colour edges.

Reflections of my current hairstyle (I felt I look):
* Sweeter
* Younger
* Simpler
* Purer
* In short, the girl next door look la'!
* Smaller face hidding my baby fats marvellously
* Astounding jap look in real life (after make-up)


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This post ends here.

Oh well, actually cos' I hesitated in posting the pic with short fringe, cos it's so not like me, so 'gkin-na', & I'm so desperately waiting for it to grow long. I really wouldn't cut it short again cos I dun think it suits me. So -> this also means I'll never cut my hair short too cos I'm so afraid of regrets...

Revive My Blog Post!!!

I am a free woman

Drafted 4th July, 5:19pm

Yes. Today a huge load or rather; burdens of failure was removed. The failure from my biz, i mentioned some times ago.



Zzsk........I bought the stock & import in solely by me, so sad it's all gonna send away by my both hands as well. Losses made, lessons learnt. It was all too precious thru' the 2 yrs ordeal.


What it takes to be a successful entrepreneur, I guess ultimately u need a tad bit of luck + decisiveness, good planning, ingredients of tonnes of money on good foresighted investments or tough batches of experiences + good networking, never-say-die attitude mix with straightforward bull power & tortoise winning game. (plan, prepare, discuss, survey, plan, sampling, testing, plan and discuss...look forward & never turn back)

I failed...I hope I learn hard from what I failed & pick up some wisdom subjects. Thou' not terribly, i begin to realize how lovely & precious each penny is worth for an introductory biz. Having spent loads of money on a big & beautiful office fully alarmed, cctv, beautified & complete yet not doubling or tripling the principle in 24 months, or simply not breaking even its cost is a burst to the chest.

If u ever knew you'd strike a lottery or inherit some money, & you're planning on not squandering it but investing in a business, you've got ready cash and you know you'll be able to cover d' intended expenses u gonna incurred, would u fork out for what you would be able to afford & fit into a lovely office? Ultimately who knows? Who knows one day the polar zone turns hot?

No, was the firm answer & reason. Offsetting the liability of an office requires good sales work. No sales + good office = die. The same goes with restaurants and retail front. Beautiful shop or beautiful ambience, no customers! Then what's the point?

Haizz..never too late then never, sometimes I wondered why I've seen so much troubles, and met so much problems, which had never ocurred or unexpectedly occurred. I wish I could just freely express them on my blog, so sad to be a haste to keeping secrets I wish to divulge in emotions. I never smile as much since I turn adulthood.

I'm always like this once in a while or rather too often, so often that my fluctuating mood swing affects other, so often that I can be an actress laughing at this moment, crying the next, or sadness turn anger...

I'm still glad that even if I'm reduced to nothing, I still have good & supportive families.
Life goes on...just that I'm always on the pessimistic sides...
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The post ends here.

Hmm..i take a step back, wanting to hold my venting nag that so often received. Till now, i'm almost done with the shit. My nightmare for so long a time is gonna be lifted soon. I'll be letting off a big heave of all burdens inside me very soon. The arrangements, the movements, the tears of facing this stuff is gonna be thrown off ~ i'm so glad thou' things r not almost back on track entirely, I've learn to lead a life that brings happiness and best of all contentment.

Who can live a life with content i believe is great establishment, and now I can smile proudly & say I'm achieving it deep within my heart & not on the surface.

I grew to:

~ Love my job

~ Love my environment

~ Love my Life

~ Lead happiness truthfully where materials are secondary non-obession

People sudden change....

When u ask em' 100 times to quit certain acts, they accepted with heedlessness;

But only when their red lights start blinking, no value of intrusive is required to get their butts moving.

... ... ...